


what's the taste of not being alone?

by ranpoandpoe



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Confident Katsuki Yuuri, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, Librarian Katsuki Yuuri, M/M, Mutual Pining, Orphan Victor Nikiforov, Romantic Fluff, Skater Victor Nikiforov, actually almost everything is the same except that yuuri is a librarian instead of an ice skater, and victor doesnt become his coach and all the yoi's plot, idk how to tag this properly help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 13:04:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17162456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranpoandpoe/pseuds/ranpoandpoe
Summary: Viktor Nikiforov only wanted a place where he could hide from his life’s problems. Yuuri Katsuki just wanted to get some money to pay rent. Neither of them was looking for love, but they found it in an old library from a Russian town.





	what's the taste of not being alone?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [muttthecowcat22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/muttthecowcat22/gifts).



> this fic is for a gift exchange for viktor's 30th birthday. i hope y'all like it (mainly the person i was assigned to)!! happy holidays to everyone & happy birthday to the one and only viktor nikiforov <3

It was a cold Tuesday night when Viktor visited that library for the first time. He was a popular ice skater who just wanted to be out of the spotlight for a few hours, and when he found out about this place, a library that was really empty during the night, he immediately fell in love.

It was an incredibly warm place, contrasting with the harsh conditions of Russia, he could feel the knowledge kept there on his skin… 

 

And, of course, there was the adorable librarian. His shocked expression when Viktor entered the library, at 11 pm was remarkable. 

 

“Good evening,” Viktor spoke, a soft smile on his lips. 

 

“Oh, good evening! There usually aren’t people here during my shift… I’m Yuuri, by the way! You can call me if… well, if you need anything!” 

 

Viktor nodded. 

 

“Thank you, Yuuri,” Viktor replied. After some time spent checking the books, he sighed. “Hey… uh… Yuuri? I think I could use your assistance right now.”

 

The dark haired boy walked towards Viktor, wearing a polite but tired smile on his face. “How can I help you?”

 

“So… I came here to have some peace. It’s calm and there aren’t many people, and my life has been really… messy at the moment.” Viktor sighed and smiled -- he wasn’t faking it this time. “I don’t know what to do. I want to try to get some kind of advice from those pages, but I don’t know where to start. I haven’t had time to read a book since… Christ, it’s been years.”

 

Yuuri was still smiling, but there was something different. There was some kind of kindness in it. 

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you. Do you still remember which kind of book you enjoy?”

 

“I used to like adventure books. Right now, though, I think I’d read anything with well-developed characters.”

 

“I got you,” Yuuri answered, confidently walking towards a specific shelf. He grabbed a book and brought it to Viktor, who was surprised by how he knew exactly where to find what he wanted. “Here, I think you might like this one.”

 

“You knew exactly where the book was… wow… how long have you been working here?” 

 

“That’s literally my job, you know? There’s no need for you to be this surprised,” Yuuri laughed, making Viktor blush. “I started working here two weeks ago, by the way. But I’m a bookworm and, as you can see, there aren’t many people here, so I decided to spend my shift reading the books available and organizing them. That’s probably why I know where each book’s position.”

 

“Oh, interesting,” Viktor commented, walking towards one of the library’s desks. “You seem so nice, Yuuri!”

 

Yuuri blushed lightly. When the librarian woke up that day, he didn’t expect to have such a beautiful man inside the library. He also didn’t expect this man to be flirting with him -- which was the only explanation Yuuri could think about, reading his actions, fond stares, sweet comments and quick, delicate touches on his hand. 

 

“You seem really nice too, Viktor,” Yuuri replied, smiling wider than before -- his genuine smile when his eyes smiled with him. “Let me know your thoughts about the book.”

 

“I assure you I will.”

 

By the end of the night, he closed the volume. When asked if he finished it, the answer was negative. Apparently, he’d be back the next day, to finish it. 

 

“Will you be here tomorrow?” Viktor had asked before he left. 

 

And, sweetly, Yuuri replied:

 

“Of course I will. I need to know your opinion.”

 

**[...]**

 

Months had passed by since the first time Viktor appeared in the bookstore. The encounter was something neither of them allowed themselves to miss -- at the library, at 8 pm, they surely would be there. After the end of the first book, Yuuri recommended others and others. Every single day, they exchanged books’ recommendations and parts of their personal lives, being each other’s loyal confidants. 

 

In the middle of that night, Viktor closed the book. He had finished it and Yuuri noticed a tear running down his face.

 

“What happened?” Yuuri asked, knowing that it wasn’t like Viktor to cry. After all those months, that was the first time he had seen the Russian crying, even though many sad stories had been read by him. 

 

“It’s… it’s nothing,” Viktor replied, wiping a tear and faking a cheerful voice. 

 

“Viktor,” Yuuri said, resting his hand on the man’s shoulder. They were now looking at each other. “You know you can trust me, don’t you?”

 

Viktor’s eyes were deep blue, like the ocean. An ocean in which Yuuri would gladly drown.  _ If  _ he hadn’t drowned in them already. 

 

“Yes,” Viktor spoke, blinking and taking a little more time than usual to do so. “I do trust you. The thing is,” his eyes were no longer staring at Yuuri’s. “I don’t want you to see me like this. I don’t want you to see me vulnerable or sad. I--”

 

“Look at me,” Yuuri commanded and Viktor, shocked, obeyed. It wasn’t like him to be bossy. “I don’t mind if you look vulnerable. I wouldn’t see you as smaller or like you less because you’re sad. Everyone gets sad and vulnerable sometimes. You’ll still be the man who gave me those smart and sensible observations about the books, things I’ve never thought about before. I love it when you read a book after I did and give me your opinion because you give me another extraordinary point of view. This is only one of the things I love about you and it won’t change because you are or look tired, because it really makes sense that you are. It must be tiring to be as amazing as you are!”

 

Yuuri’s face got red after he noticed Viktor’s surprised expression and realized he talked about love. On his mind, this word had been used sometime before, but the impulse made him forget that this word was never verbally present in their conversations. 

 

“Do you mean it?” Viktor asked, deeply staring at Yuuri’s eyes. “Those are meaningful words and they shouldn’t be used in a futile way.”

 

“I do mean every single word I just said,” Yuuri replied. He was insecure about Viktor’s reaction, but now that he had spoken, he wouldn’t take back. “I love reading, you know that, and words have always been my refuge. Words are the place I look for when I have a problem or when I lack something I don’t know. They’re an important part of my life, and I would never throw them around as if they worth nothing.”

 

Viktor got up of the chair, with a little smile on his lips. Apparently, he considered Yuuri’s answer satisfying. 

 

“Good. You were honest with me, now… can I be honest with you?” Yuuri nodded and Viktor seemed to be thinking, but confidently. It was weird, at least for Yuuri -- he seemed to be thinking about what to say, but still seemed to already have control over all the words that would come out of his mouth for the rest of the night. “You’re one of the few people whose opinion I respect and care about. You always recommend me good books and every single one… it feels like they get me. It feels like  _ you  _ get me. I love this feeling. I love how organized you are with books. I love how you say your bad at time management, but is always punctual to get here. I feel like I can’t trust many people in my life, that everyone is so fake, but… you’re always so sincere. I love it.” Viktor stopped talking and, for a second, he didn’t seem to have full control of everything. “I… I love  _ you _ , Yuuri Katsuki.”

 

Yuuri’s reaction to the sentence came gradually, in four stages: in the first one, his eyes were wide and shiny; in the second,  his cheeks became red out of embarrassment and cheerfulness; in the third stage, he giggled. 

 

And, during the third stage… 

 

“Viktor, can you kiss me?”

 

Silence. 

 

Viktor’s blue eyes were wide, staring at the boy -- how could he shamelessly ask something  _ like that _ ?

 

But he quickly recovered from that and a smile suddenly appeared on his face, instead of the surprised expression. 

 

“Of course. It’ll be a pleasure.”

 

Viktor couldn’t stop himself from thinking that Yuuri was the cutest boy ever at that moment: his blushy face, his (almost) closed eyes, his little pout and the fact that he was standing on his tiptoes since he was too short to reach Viktor’s lips… everything was too adorable to Viktor to resist. 

 

Getting closer to Yuuri’s lips, there was no such thing as the concept of time for Viktor. He could’ve approached quickly or slowly, the kiss could’ve lasted five minutes or forty, Viktor didn’t know. The only thing he knew was that Yuuri’s lips tasted so sweet, tasted like the teenage years he didn’t live, due to the constant pressure he suffered because of his career; Yuuri’s lips tasted like an adventure, like skipping all the classes of the day, but they also tasted like something calmer. They also tasted like home and a cup of tea during a rainy day. 

 

“I didn’t know you felt like that.”

 

They both were still close enough to feel each other’s breaths and neither wanted to change that. 

 

“I do,” Viktor simply answered. “If you still want to know… I can tell you what happened after I finished reading the book…”

 

“Go ahead,” Yuuri said. Viktor noticed that he tried to hide the fact that he was curious. 

 

“I don’t have a home,” he replied. “My parents died when I was eleven years old, and a distant uncle who adopted me was the one who raised me after that, alongside with his son, who curiously shares a name with you. Him, my aunt and my cousin were… are, actually, all ice skaters, and helped me become an ice skater myself. But eventually, my life with them started being too mixed with my job and it started to become stressful…” Viktor sighed deeply. He didn’t seem like he was going to cry again, but the sadness was still inside his eyes. “I started coming here to avoid the stress. And… it might seem stupid, but the Christmas evening is soon and I find it depressing to spend it in a library… I’m sorry to ruin the mood by saying things you can’t do anything about, I--”

 

“No,” Yuuri interrupted. “I actually can do something about it.”

 

Viktor’s eyes were now glowing; he just realized that something about Yuuri made him look like a superhero. 

 

“You can?”

 

“Yes,” he answered. His eyes were cheerful. “You can spend the Christmas evening with me! My family is big and we invite a lot of people too, so you won’t feel lonely! Also,” Yuuri caught Viktor by surprise again and held his hand. “I’ll be there with you the whole time. If you accept, of course!”

 

“I… Thank you,” Viktor answered. He looked like he’d start crying soon, out of happiness. “Really. Thank you. I don’t know what to do to show you how grateful I am.”

 

Yuuri smiled, getting closer to Viktor.

 

“Well,” he started. “You could start by kissing me again.”

 

Viktor delicately pushed Yuuri closer, to kiss him again, and a fulfilling sensation grew bigger inside his chest. The sensation that there, drunk by the smell of the books and the pretty man who he loved and who loved him back, he wasn’t lonely anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> u can find me as @edogawaspoe on twitter also pls leave a comment and kudos or something feedback is v important to me <3 <3


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